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16 February 1999

"Give it up as you'd give up a bad gin habit: Each day you go without her makes it easier to go without her another day."
-- Garrison Keillor, as Mr. Blue

More Salon haiku. If you quote these, for Pete's sake include the authors' names and source attribution. (Last time Salon did computer haiku, they made their way around the Net completely uncredited, as though they'd sprung whole from the ether.)

These aren't nearly as good as the error message ones, but there are a few that stand out:

  • Microsoft antitrust haiku [Salon]
    (Excerpt from Bill Gates' videotaped testimony:)
    "What's this 'Microsoft'
    that you keep referring to?
    First I've heard of it."
    -- Keith Ammann

    You will like it when
    Windows does everything,
    Even if badly.
    -- Mike Bosko

Garrison Keillor weighs in again, wise and entertaining as usual:

  • Dear Mr. Blue [Salon]
    You're in love, girl. And now you know why love is what 95 percent of all the great novels and songs are about. It's scary and thrilling and you don't really know how it's going to turn out, even after it turns out. ... Be brave. And if you wind up embarrassed, it's in a noble cause.

Salon's posting more creepy stories; maybe they're trying to carve out a niche. This one's by the target of the creepiness, though, which is much easier to sympathize with. It's a tale of sexual-harassment-slash-assault that wasn't quite sufficient to bring to the authorities:

  • The reluctant accuser [Salon]
    More than four years later, we still haven't spoken. And while that's what hurt most at first, what hurts now is that it took me so many months to realize that I hadn't done anything wrong.

Impractical in real life, but an interesting tactic:

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