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day permlink Saturday, 21 December 2002

permlink Rewriting the Jaguar Ad

Rewriting the current Jaguar ad:

(Scene: Upscale living room. Man sits on couch in front of window. Woman hands Man small present.)

Woman: Go ahead, open it.

Man (tearing away wrapping): Hey! Nice model car.

Woman (snapping a Polaroid™ camera): (slyly) I know it's not the real thing, but...

Man: No no, I like it. It's cool. ...Hey, why did you just take a picture of me?

(Long before photo could possibly have developed, Woman hands finished photo to Man. Man looks for a beat, then whirls around to see Driveway where there is a New Luxury Car.)

Man: You bought me an actual car?

Woman: Yeah! Isn't that better than a model?

Man: You bought a car? What are you, insane? Since when is a car not a major purchase that we decide on together?

Woman: Hey, you keep saying you've always wanted one!

Man: Yeah, but I also want to retire some day! That's, like, thirty thousand dollars, gone!

Woman: Thirty-three.

Man: I want one of those like I want steak, lobster and chocolate every day; it's a fantasy! Great Goulessarian, woman! What were you thinking?

Full-screen slide: "The new 2003 Domestic Turmoil. From $29,950."

Man (voiceover): You could have at least bought it used. We can't even take it back! permlink     3 comment(s)  
Ha ha! Brilliant, Steve!
      ...posted by La Di Da on December 21, 2002 10:29 AM
Thanks for this!
      ...posted by Katxena on December 23, 2002 11:11 AM

If you change the car to a convertable & the man to over 40, you have "The new 2003 Mid-Life Crisis."

Man: "Sweet! Chicks dig cool cars..."
Woman: "What was that?"
Man: "Um, nothing, dear."
      ...posted by Neil on December 23, 2002 2:53 PM
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