Only time for quickies today. It'll be almost like a real weblog!

We were actually wondering at Saturday's concert whether he would do something like this:

• 'Weird Al' Yankovic Nears Completion Of 'Livin' La Vida Mocha' [The Onion]
  "The protagonist of 'Livin' La Vida Mocha,' like all of Yankovic's greatest anti-heroes, is a study in contradictions," Demento writes. "He knows that his crazed desire for Starbucks, a desire that mirrors our society's suicidal embrace of a cruel and morally bankrupt materialistic individualism, is destroying his mind. Yet, like our own out-of-control consumer culture, he is helpless to stop his spiral into the widening gyre."

I've heard of some folks planning to switch which party's candidate they vote for this time around. Does that mean the original party has gone astray, or does it mean that there are so few important differences between the parties that it just doesn't matter which one you pick?

• A Message From America: 3999 A.D. [Tom the Dancing Bug]
  We won! We and not they.

It's been said (by I forget whom) that by the time a rumor makes it into Spencer F. Katt's PC Week column it may as well be considered news. Whether that's true or not, this edition's got a couple of funny Microsoft tidbits at the end:

• The weary Rajah of Rumors finds solace in titillating tales [PC Week]

Why plenty of folks (including me) are avoiding Microsoft's tools and environments:

• Reach, pay drawing developers to Java, Linux [News]
  Programmers interviewed this week said they are moving away from Windows development for three reasons: the need to build Web-based e-commerce applications that span more than just Windows-based systems, the lure of greater financial rewards for Java programming skills, and a deep distrust of Microsoft's overall motives.

So far, living on a Mac & moving away from Frontier for CGI work (but still using it to build websites), I've only made it as far as Perl; Java & Linux are somewhere further down the line. But the reasons are similar.

Maybe somebody should post the Ten Commandments in Pat Robertson's house.

• Robertson Espouses Assassin Solution [Washington Post]
  Christian Coalition President Pat Robertson suggested yesterday that assassinating troublesome world leaders would be a preferable alternative to U.S. policy that prohibits assassinations. "It would just seem so much more practical to have that flexibility," Robertson said.

Even among wrestlers, who would give themselves this name?

• 'Wife Beater' taken off Platteville wrestling card [Journal Sentinel]
  "If he's going to wrestle under a more appropriate name than 'Wife Beater,' then I don't have a problem with people attending the event," said Hubert, whose organization assists battered women in the area. "What we're hoping is that he's not changing his name just for this event, that he understands why our community - and probably every other community - would be upset about this name."

(I can hear 'rights' objections already...look, sure he has the 'right' to call himself that, but a venue has the 'right' not to contract such an entertainer's services, too.)

I'm not sure the current movie rating system is salvageable through tweaking, but here's an interesting discussion anyhow:

• Do Movie Ratings Need New Categories? [LA Times]
  Critics of the current MPAA rating system--which uses the symbols G, PG, PG-13, R and NC-17--say it fails on both counts, neither fully informing consumers nor protecting cinematic creativity.
  
  [B]ecause an NC-17 rating is the kiss of death at the box office ... movie studios usually contractually require directors to work with the MPAA to whittle films down to at least an R rating.
  
  [Roger Ebert] argues that the current system effectively rules out the possibility of what he calls "a true adults-only movie." He calls for a new "A" rating between R and NC-17, that would signify adult material that is not pornographic.

Finally, one more Onion article (an instant classic IMHO):

• Congress Approves $4 Billion For Bread, Circuses [The Onion]
  Seeking to ensure the continued distraction and contentedness of the American people during a time of unprecedented prosperity, Congress allocated $4 billion for bread and circuses Monday.
  
  "Citizens!" Torricelli continued. "I beseech you to look past the revelry and consider your condition. Have you truly benefited from this state of affairs? I respectfully submit the resounding answer of no! No, no, a thousand times, no!" The morning after his speech, Torricelli was found dead in his bedroom, an apparent victim of an asp bite sometime during the night.
  
  "Citizens, who scoffs at your indulgence? The same patrician snobs who have kept you in your place for years," said White House press secretary Joe Lockhart. "Life is short and desperate, and soon the Grim Reaper will darken your door. That's why it's of capital importance to enjoy yourself while you can. Now, who's up for a free, government-sponsored crucifixion of some convicted murderers?"